


Harder to breach into than Fort Knox - Or five times Tony tried to get into Steve’s pants and one time that he lost his.

by Sharkypan87



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 5+1 Things, First Time, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Slash, Smut, Virgin Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkypan87/pseuds/Sharkypan87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, after months of nothing, have some Stony, people. Inspiration struck me with a 5+1 story, so enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Night

Well, it can’t really be counted as an effective try. The team had just got back from a long battle when Tony suggested a drink to celebrate their victory. He was trying to cut his alcohol intake lately, but having survived a waterfall of green slime, a gift from an horny god, he was ready to unwind.  
Everybody accepted his offer gleefully, grateful to rest and finally relax a little. He plopped down on the couch, next to Steve and Bruce, when he noticed the blonde’s water-filled glass. 

“What’s up, Cap? I’m pretty sure you turned 21 already.” He whispered to Steve, nudging his side.

“Ah, ah, Tony. Very funny.” He sighted heavily, “you know I can’t get drunk, so what’s the point?” he answered back. It must be the millionth time he had said that, but Tony insisted and whined each and every time.

“The point is enjoying a drink with your friends. Even though you can’t get drunk, you can still taste it, right?” he shot back, downing his scotch. 

The others were watching the pair with mirth in their eyes, they were used by now to their little banter, especially since they started living all together in Tony’s Tower. 

Tonight, though, the bickering was getting more intense than ever, almost a shouting contest, so much that even Bruce, the calmest person in the bunch, was getting a little green around the edge. He tried more than once to calm things down, but with little success.

“C’mon, Tony, you know he doesn’t like it-”

“So, what? He shouldn’t be this prudish-” interjected the inventor, raising from the couch too fast, swaying a little, after his fourth drink, or was it his fifth?

“I’m not! And look at you, you’re drunk already!” Shouted back Steve, raising as well, trying to catch the genius before he kissed the floor. He got his hands on Tony’s sides right on time, earning a furious glare from the smaller man.

“Let. Me. Go.” Spat back Tony, angrier than ever. He was just trying to get everybody to relax after a job well done, and here Steve was treating him like a complete idiot.

That really stung. Especially since the billionaire had found out that he kinda liked the guy. 

Sort of. 

Okay, he had a nice butt, so what?

He was still trying to get free from a Cap’s human-wall when Tasha’s voice cut through them all “Oh, for God’s sake, guys, you act like horny teenager, why don’t you do it already and get done with it? All this sexual frustration is going to kill you both, or maybe I will.”

That successfully stopped all the fuss. Steve flushed at the words and eyed Tony who froze in his arms. He was sure the smaller man was going to sock him for this. One thing is being overly friendly, but what Natasha had implied was huge and saying it out loud like that… practically slapping it on Tony’s face...

After all they were both guys. And Tony was a hopeless playboy, he would be horrified by Steve’s feelings. He released the inventor at once, stuttering his denial and fled the room.

 

The others were still looking at the vapor trail he left in the living room, dazzled by the turn of the events, but Tony was already moving forward, trying to catch up to him. If Tasha was right, then he had been a true idiot all this time, not realizing Steve’s feelings, simply dismissing his behavior as uptight instead of caring. He ran to the soldier’s room, tapping furiously on the door.

“C’mon, Steve, open up.” He pleaded gently.

The room was silent, too silent. Steve was inside but refused to speak to him.

“C’mon, Cap, I really, really want to talk to you, and I think that you want it, too.” He whispered to the closed door.  
After some more pleading and tapping, the door opened a little, revealing a blushing Steve, still unable to look to Tony in the eye.

“Hey, there.” Said Tony smiling.

“Ton- Tony, I…” Steve finally looked directly at him, but he didn’t know what to say.

“So, she’s right, right?” inquired the inventor, closing the space between the two of them.

“I… I think… uh… I’m… uh… yes.” Steve mastered all his courage to see the reaction his confused words had caused, but he didn’t expected what followed. 

Tony grabbed him by his shirt and tugged him downward, kissing him senseless.

Steve felt his blush reaching even his ears, but this was so… good. He didn’t know that kissing a guy could be so sweet, too.

Tony left the soldier’s mouth with a moan, nibbling his lower lip and smiling up at him “so, that was nice, what you say if we move this into your bed, uh?” he suggested wiggling his eyebrows. 

Steve’s reaction was a little… strong. One thing was kissing, but things were moving too fast for him, to go from that to outright sex in a matter of seconds was too much! Tony’s words struck him so hard that he found himself slamming his bedroom door into the inventor’s face without a second thought.

 

“… or not.” Sighed Tony to the closed door.


	2. Second Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, how come that every time I try to write porn without plot I end up writing plot without porn? O.o

It’s been 3 days. 3 frigging days. 72 hours. 4320 minutes and yet Tony couldn’t explain what went wrong that night. He mentally slapped himself for being this stupid, after all, he was supposed to be a genius. Graduated at MIT, built a suit, built his own heart, and yet he couldn’t puzzle this together. Was it his technique? Nah, impossible, he had been kissing people for the last 30 plus years, his technique is great, he’s the god of kisses, so what? He kept murmuring to himself while tinkering with a new arrow and bow for Clint, discarding a piece after another, completely oblivious of Bruce seated next to him, completely red in the face from his earlier whispers about his sexual prowess.

“Hmm… Ehm… Tony?” Bruce was the first one to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, big guy?” shot back the inventor, without even looking his way.

“I think you just rushed things too much.” Blurted out the scientist. He couldn’t possibly keep hearing Tony’s “secret moves” without losing it. They were good friends, but the inventor was talking about what he want to do to Steve. To Captain America, of all people.

“… what?” Tony stopped his working abruptly, giving all of his attention to Bruce.

The doctor licked his sudden dry lips and went on with his explanation “I might be wrong, but I think that you’re approaching the issue with a too-modern eye.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Tony was scowling by now, irritated that even his friend won’t get it.

“Tony, stop for a minute and focus.” Bruce clasped his hands in his lap and looked him straight in the eye.

“I am focused, I’m the most focused person in the world, I might be able to cut diamonds with my focusing.” Answered back the inventor, heaving a deep sigh and scrubbing his face to better clear his head. “Fine, I’m listening, let’s hear it, doc.”

“Very well, okay. Tony, when was you first time? I mean, in a… uh… sexual… Uhm… you know… ”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony regarded the doctor for a full minute, expression completely blank.

“No, no, of course not, I’m just-”

“How any of this is going to help me? If you wanted to trade sex stories, we could do that later, you know-” Tony raised from his spot on the desk, gesturing toward the couch in the lab.

“No, no! You’re missing my point.” Bruce tried to remain calm, or as calm as he could be in this situation. How did he ended up giving advices to Tony, sexual advices to Tony?

“I’m just trying to make you see the problem, Tony. You’re a modern man, born in modern times. Steve is… not. He was born in a different… time. There used to be rules about… things, back then, you know, like not saying that you liked another guy or… or… you, know, waiting till marriage for certain things.” Bruce was looking at him apologetically, he wasn’t sure how to express his doubts, but he was pretty sure that this was it.

“Wait…” Tony’s eyes widened in shock “you’re not saying that he… I mean, he isn’t some teenager, surely he already had some… action?”

Bruce stared at him for a long time, he opened his mouth to say something encouraging, but no sounds came out.

“Aw, man, are you telling me that I landed the only ninety-plus-something virgin in New York?”

Bruce couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, the whole situation was… well, ridiculous, so much that he tried to hid a snort of laugh in an improvised fit of cough.

“Oh, c’mon! I can’t believe that you’re laughing at me!” Tony was livid by now, sure he had thought that maybe, maybe, Steve was a little shy, but to think him a virgin? No way! He had to do something, just to clear things up a bit.

He left the lab in a hurry, just in time to hear Bruce losing his battle against his mirth, damn the guy, if he hadn’t saved his life a couple of times…

The inventor jumped into the elevator and rode up to the living room, still muttering to himself, he took in the empty space and lacking of light and deduced that it was too late or too early to find someone around. He glanced briefly at the clock on the right wall, it was just past 4 in the morning, although it wasn’t really late for his standards, it was obviously late enough that everyone was still asleep. Fine, he made up his mind and reached Steve’s room full of trepidation, was Bruce right? Was he too impulsive? Gah, all his life he had been impulsive, plus Steve was a guy, too, surely he wouldn’t need to court the man like a girl, right? Like bringing flowers or chocolate and waiting five months before sex? He wasn’t too sure he could survive five days without sex!

 

He rapped gently on the door, he didn’t want to give him a heart attack or to think there was an emergency, so he waited a bit more and tapped again. After a few minutes he heard the telltale signs of rustling sheets and a sleep-ruffled Steve appeared on the threshold.

“Tony… what…? What’s wrong?” he said with bleary eyes, concern creeping into his face.

Gah, this must be hell, thought Tony, he looked even cute with sleep in his eyes and a pair of white trunks.  
“Uhm, no, relax, Cap, everything’s good, I was… I just wanted to…” really, what should he say now? He struggled to find the right words, but came up empty.

Steve eyed him fidgeting with his hands, a nervous gesture he was sure the great Tony Stark had never experienced before, so he tried to ease his worries “Look, if it is about the other night, I’m… I… I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything, so…”

Tony’s head shot up at those words, here, here was his clue. He just have to be smooth, he’s good at this, got lots of practice smooth-talking board members and villains alike. He just needed to ease into things slowly.

 

“Are you a virgin?”

...so much for slowly and smooth.

“Uh… ah…” Steve stuttered incoherently, his face growing hot with a full-body blush. He couldn’t believe his ears, how could had have asked that! Of all things!

Tony was babbling now, he wasn’t even aware of half the things he was saying, “I mean, it’s… it’s okay if you are, I could teach you, you know, plus I got lube, so-”

Steve gasped at Tony’s words, not only the man was saying embarrassing stuff, he was treating him like a complete idiot, he didn’t know if the flush on his cheeks was due to Tony’s flow of suggestions or anger by now. He didn’t want to hear it anymore, so he took a step back and slammed the door closed while Tony was still rambling about ludicrous things.

“…uh, really, feels like déjà vu to me.”

Tony mentally slapped himself. He couldn’t believe half the things he had said to Steve. What happened to smooth talking his way into Steve’s room? Sure, he graduated at MIT, built a suit, built his own heart and now he might as well go and buy flowers and chocolate because apparently his brain had suddenly decided to take a vacation and left him to fend for himself.

 

Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, now in search of chocolate to win Captain America’s _virginity_ , could it get any worse?


End file.
